Nothing can truly prepare you for the loss of a loved one. No matter how old, no matter how sick they may be, it is going to hurt, a lot.
Two weeks ago, I went to visit my Nanny. At that point she had had cancer for about 3 years. Her entire body was made of cancer. The most amazing thing happened though, she felt absolutely no pain. The cancer was blocking her pain receptors which allowed her to live her life as she normally would. A true miracle from god. But she took a turn for the worst and was admitted to a round-the-clock care facility. She hated being there. We hated seeing her there.
The last time I saw her was a week before she died. She told us all how much she loved us. I took her hand and told her that she was my good luck charm as her 90th birthday would have been August 12th (the night before crowning at Miss Teenage Canada). I know she loved me and my brother so much. She was truly an angel on earth, and now she is the angel on my shoulder.
In England I lit a candle for her in Westminster Abbey, I said my prayers, and I just knew you were smiling down on me from heaven. Rest in peace Nan, I know that this isn’t a goodbye, but a see you later. I am going to do this for you. My 100% all in this competition, and in everything I do in life.
I miss you so much Nan. I know you are dancing in heaven with all of the butterflies and frogs you can imagine. I love you.
“I said a prayer for you today and
know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart
although He spoke no word!
I didn’t ask for wealth of fame
(I knew you wouldn’t mind).
I asked Him to send treasures
of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He’d be near you
at the start of each new day;
to grant your health and blessings
and friends to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
in all things great and small.
But it was for His loving care
I prayed for the most of all!”
“Those we love must someday
pass beyond our present sight…
Must leave us and the world
we know without their radiant light.
But we know that like a candle
their lovely light will surely shine
to brighten up another place
more perfect… more divine.
And in the realm of Heaven where
they shine so warm and bright.
Our loved ones live forevermore
in God’s eternal light.”